The Kindling Humor Magazine

By Tom Amadio

In the plains of South Dakota, where so few men dwell

A woman sat upon the seat of the Governor’s chair, with a story to tell

Of her dog she shot and believed it brave

One that ultimately dug up her own grave

Her dog was indeed not one she wanted, one not like a whippet

She was blessed with a kind pup named Cricket

Cricket was free, spirited like any pup would be

The hound that she did not desire to take amongst the trees

Kristi recalls the time she spent with the dog, times that were far from pleasant 

The joyful pup that the lady took to the plains in search of pheasant 

Through the fields, she strode with iron, gripped in her hand 

The winds bore witness to her rule of the land

Gentle hands touched the steel frame, but not her happy hound

The lady was finally met with her prize, the birds were now found

Once her dog would gleefully make chase, Kristi had lost the element of surprise

Soon after the botched hunt, Cricket would travel with its owner to a gravel pit, to its demise

She penned this tale within her book, full of pride

Believing that voters would grace her with applause, but not hide

Her dreams of vice presidency were now lost as the nation gasped

The harrowing tale would have never held that seat in her grasp. 

Yet she was relentless, like any Dakota hunter would be 

Months passed and she was then blessed with another prize, the seat of Homeland Security

A relief it must have been, to be graced in an orange-painted state 

She remains loyal to a man seen as great

Now she continues to hunt

All it took was the life of a runt